THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING (NOT ME)
by Tom Waits

The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking ...

And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking ...

And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me.

YouTube has a tortured live version ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwhdmll85v4
... and a decent audio version with still images
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bbpqQXayMo&feature=related

MICHAEL 4 (piano man) from DAZ (registration required)
http://www.daz3d.com/i/shop/itemdetails/?item=7877

Steve McQueen Face Morph by Wertz, modified for Poser by Marieanne at Sharecg (reg req)
http://www.sharecg.com/v/41628/Poser/werts-Movie-Stars

Casablanca Suit by Rosy Poison Sakura
http://rosy-poison.sakura.ne.jp/poser/dl/CS/csset.html

McCoy Hair by Mylochka at ShareCG (reg req)
http://www.sharecg.com/v/38477/Poser/McCoy-Hair

MICHAEL 4 (audience) from DAZ (reg req)
http://www.daz3d.com/i/shop/itemdetails/?item=7877

Hitchcock Face Morph by Wertz, modified for Poser by Marieanne at Sharecg (reg req)
http://www.sharecg.com/v/41628/Poser/werts-Movie-Stars

Sickle Skinny Tee by SickleYield at Renderosity (reg req)
http://www.renderosity.com/mod/freestuff/details.php?item_id=59887

Tavern and some accessories by x2000 aka Michael Talada at Poser Props Emporium (last item on page)
http://www.technowomb.com/poser/x2000/interiors-p3.html

Upright Piano by Trekkiegrrrl at Renderosity (reg req)
http://www.renderosity.com/mod/freestuff/details.php?item_id=14427

Big John Cigar and Ashtray by Adam Thwaites at Most Digital Creations, was free now $3
http://www.most-digital-creations.com/whiskey_bottle_cigar_props.htm

V4 Cheers Beer by Adam Thwaites at Most Digital Creations (3rd item down)
http://www.most-digital-creations.com/free_poser_poses_textures_morphs_props_8.htm

Champagne Bucket and Glasses from the "Champagne and Strawberries" set by Trumarcar (under Picnic Food, 8th item down)
http://trumarcar.francemi.net/foodprops_tc.htm

Other bottles and glasses from the Eleganza Bar by Guderun at Sharecg (reg req)
http://www.sharecg.com/v/36738/Poser/Bar-Eleganza-for-your-Poser-Nightlife

Cocktail Glass by Drakelot no longer in his portfolio at Sharecg (reg req)
http://www.sharecg.com/pf/full_uploads.php?pf_user_name=drake3d

Fancy Cocktail by TrekkieGrrrl (1st item)
http://trekkiegrrrl.dk/prp8.htm

Mineral Water Bottle by Avalontree (click on "Food" category, it's top left)
http://avalontree.narod.ru/poser_props.html

POST-PRODUCTION: Slight boost in the contrast and shift in the tint in Photoshop, as well as the smoke overlay, on which DAZ Studio drew the line and refused to render.

© Dorseyland